Fostering Hope Foundation

Where there is help, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is a future.

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Room for One More

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Fostering Hope teams most often support foster families who sign up to care for and love children who truly have no other place to go. In the past few months, Tina revealed just how deep of a commitment some parents are willing to make — sometimes at the drop of a hat. Her two foster brothers befriended a child in the neighborhood who was also in foster care. For about a year, he played with her boys and got to know their family.

Last month, this boy’s foster parents asked for him to be removed. This is known as a disruption; this act can instantly and deeply re-traumatize foster kids bringing instability and reinforces their sense of worthlessness. This middle school boy was unlikely to find another home and was facing a future at a residential facility. He would be alone and unlikely to ever be adopted according to trends for kids of this age.

Tina decided to take him into her home and immediately knew that she was going to adopt him into her family. Overnight her family of two sibling brothers turned into three. This team expressed their amazement by Tina’s generosity and her ability to open her home and her heart to another foster child with an immediate need.

Currently, the team is getting to know him and working with him to release negative behaviors due to past abuse. Even at 12 years old, he hides in the closet or under the table whenever the team is around. In time though, everyone is hopeful that with the love and support of Tina and the team, he will be able to move past his fear and regressive behaviors in order to interact with the volunteers more openly. Ultimately, Tina and the team are excited to watch him learn to receive love.

The volunteers will continue to support and love Tina as she navigates this new relationship. They are committed to help her in any way they can. What a beautiful picture of creating an extended family for a single mom stepping into a difficult calling.

Soup for the Soul

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Local restaurants and foundation team up to provide soup to foster families and “aging out” youth

Editor’s Note: Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.

Danielle’s husband died the day before Thanksgiving, and she hadn’t been hungry since. She ate, of course, but not much. A foster mom caring for two children, she needed to survive, but grief had dulled her appetite. That is, until Christmas, when she received a savory bowl of soup made fresh for her and her kids by a local restaurant and donated by a local philanthropic organization. Maybe it was the meal itself, or the love that went into it, but she said it was the first meal she enjoyed since her husband passed away.

Over the holidays, The Petritz Foundation and Colorado Springs Food Rescue developed a unique plan to help both local restaurants struggling to stay afloat due to the pandemic as well as community members suffering financially from the economic slowdown. Aptly named the “Soup for the Soul” campaign, the sponsoring foundation purchased soup from local restaurants and then distributed it to local nonprofits, including Fostering Hope, to ensure vulnerable populations had soup to eat for the holidays. The week before Christmas, our coordinators helped to deliver each foster family and emancipated young adult in our program three quarts of fresh homemade soup. Participating restaurants included Red Gravy, Pho-N-Thai, Edelweiss, Fujiyama and Switchback Hillside Cafe.

“An equitable food system is about more than just emergency food access. We are excited to partner with local restaurants, who have been hit hard by the COVID restrictions, to both support their bottom line as well as provide a gift to members of the community,” ​said Patience Kabwasa, Executive Director of Colorado Springs Food Rescue.

Just as important as the delicious soup was the message it sent to its recipients: there are people who care about me. That’s a powerful message, especially for counteracting the message that trauma sends: people are threats, not resources, and I’m not worthy of love or kindness.

For example, Everett, a young adult who recently aged out of foster care, had been bouncing from motel room to motel room. Although usually reluctant to reach out for help, he was out of food and options, so he contacted a Fostering Hope coordinator. Desperate and hungry, Everett was on the verge of tears. Our coordinator brought him groceries and three quarts of the homemade soup. He was so appreciative, particularly to have warm, specialty soup from a local restaurant to enjoy. But most importantly, the soup showed him that there are people in the community who care and will offer a helping hand in a time of need.

We are so grateful to live in a community that shows up for each other, exemplified by the Soup for the Soul campaign. Thank you to The Petritz Foundation, Colorado Springs Food Rescue and the local participating restaurants for spreading warmth and love over the holidays!

A note from the director

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Fear. Isolation. An inability to focus. Living in the present and unable to focus on the future. The world around me – and social interaction – is dangerous and to be avoided. This is how I’ve felt at times during this pandemic, as many of you may have. Likewise, it’s the connections and experiences with friends and family – even by text or Facetime – that seems to shed perspective on it all and bring the calm.

I realized recently that this is a window into the experience of kids in foster care and why Fostering Hope exists.

To be clear, childhood trauma, in the technical and scientific sense, is very different than typical fear and grief, and toxic stress is not normal stress. We are feeling these things in the face of real and imminent danger, and when it goes away, so will much of our fear. For our youth, this is the constant, even debilitating baseline they live with when the world around them is humming along uneventfully.

But even a glimpse into their world can help us understand more personally why the love and support they experience from our wonderful foster parents and volunteers and greater Fostering Hope community is so healing and transformational. Just today, a friend sent me a care package knowing I was going a little stir crazy. The warmth from this gesture and knowing I was on their mind will carry me through whatever today’s headlines bring.

So, as I reflect on this, I just want to say thank you. Whether you’re a donor, a volunteer, a foster parent or one of our community partners, your contributions to creating calm out of chaos and shining love into darkness are truly something special.

Volunteers Get Creative to Support Foster Families from Afar

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Sue knew her foster parents would be struggling to keep their kids entertained and engaged with no school or activities and strict stay-at-home orders. Normally, she’d take them to the park or on a play date, but in a Covid-19 world she did the next best thing: she dropped off a pair of activity kits at their doorstep. One included all the materials to create a balloon rocket, and the other a pom-pom drop game.

She is one of many Fostering Hope volunteers who have found new ways to support their foster families during the time of coronavirus. Instead of childcare, transportation, or date nights, all of which are not allowed or safe during the height of the pandemic, they’re relying on video and doorsteps.

Volunteers for another family read stories to the kids via video, and others put on a YouTube-style puppet show. It may not seem like much, but an hour of respite for a foster parent in quarantine can go a long way.

Others have left hot meals on doorsteps, complete with a side of toilet paper and other supplies. One volunteer stepped in to do video math tutoring for a child struggling to make the adjustment to e-learning.

“I want you all to know it means so much to have your arms around us as we go through this,” one foster mom shared with her team. “All of you are heaven sent, and I don’t mean that in a Hallmark kind of way … please know you are so, so needed and loved.”

In an interesting turn of events, the “extended family” is serving in new ways. Foster families and volunteers have brought groceries to elderly volunteers who are homebound and unable or at high-risk of going to the store. One foster family who received more food than they can eat as a family, repackaged what was left and distributed to an elderly neighbor.

On the brink of homelessness, a foster youth ages out

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Editor’s note: The following essay was written by Brian Ferguson, Fostering Hope’s Youth Transitions Coordinator. Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.

Jason and I sit at a coffee shop with my laptop. We are looking for a place for him to live — again. It’s the second time in two months that he’s been kicked out. First, by a friend from school and now by a former co-worker. He has burned every bridge. Jason’s face is blank, but I can see the tears he wipes away from underneath his sunglasses.

He is shutting down, as trauma has wired him to do, preparing himself for survival once again. He is two days away from homelessness without immediate help. He has lived in so many different places he can’t even remember them all.

As a child, he bounced from foster home to foster home. Kids with trauma often exhibit bad behaviors and intentionally push their caregivers away. Then, as a teenager, he found no one wanted to welcome him into their home anymore. He was labeled “troubled, delinquent, risky” and he lost the opportunity to live in a home with a family. He lived in group homes and facilities where a paid staff rotated through on a daily basis, making it even harder to find someone who truly cares about you.

While these placements were initially intended to be temporary, this became his last stop into adulthood. After years of living in group homes, Jason turned 18 and left the system.

He was moved into an apartment and secured a job. He had everything he needed right?

In just a few months he became homeless and trapped in depression. For a year, Jason was either living on the streets or couch surfing, and we had no contact with him.

It took almost a year before Jason was able to get another job and find a stable place to live, where he reconnected with an old friend. He re-established contact with Fostering Hope, where staff and volunteers had been so eager to help and be his friend. Now, not even a year later, the cycle is repeating.

The only way Jason knows how to handle conflict is by running away or getting kicked out – the fight, flight or freeze response. All of us have brains that protect us from harm and prepare us for survival in a state of danger. When you see a bear, your body takes over and you don’t think about what you do next. For kids experiencing trauma, this toxic level of stress rewires the brain so that this state of survival is the constant, not the other way around. Ironically, the very thing that helps you survive danger hinders Jason’s survival in society.

I take Jason to apply for an apartment and help him fill out the application. I feel like his parent taking him to an interview reminding him to shower and put on clean clothes before meeting the landlord. I review his application before we turn it in because I knew even one tiny mistake could disqualify him.

The reality starts to sink in as I review his application — in a competitive and fast-growing real estate market, he doesn’t have a chance. He has no address or phone number. He has no references.

And the emergency contact section is completely blank. I ask Jason who he wants his emergency contact to be. He responds, “What is that?” I explain this is the person you would want the landlord to contact if you were hurt or needed help. If you were taken to the hospital, who would they call to come see you?

Jason’s silence spoke a thousand words. I broke the long pause by telling him he could put me down as his emergency contact. Jason breathed a sign or relief and said, almost under his breath, “Oh, good… I don’t really have anyone right now. I mean I know where my mom is living on the east coast but I haven’t been able to contact her in a long time.”

My heart broke, and now I was the one brushing away tears from under my sunglasses.

Can you imagine being all alone in the world? Having no one who cares if you live or die, no one who would visit you in the hospital if you got hurt? I learned so much that day about what it’s like to be in foster care, and to age out of the system. I was reminded that it’s not just about resources and services.

Foster kids want a place a place to belong more than they want a place to live.

As predicted, he did not qualify for the apartment. Fostering Hope found him a safe hotel room for a couple of nights while we called on our community of supporters for ideas and leads. Thankfully, someone in the community opened their home to Jason, and he was offered both a place to belong and live for now. In lieu of rent, this individual is requiring him to set aside money each month in savings, to help him as he works to get a more permanent place of his own.

Update: In October, Fostering Hope launched its first ever transitional housing initiative. Through a master lease with Canyon Ranch Apartments, we are now able to provide more housing options for youth aging out. This initiative, made possible with help from private donors, enables youth to pay income-adjusted rent while living in an aspirational community of working-class adults with house parents on-site. While in its formative stages, our hope is that this will help kids like Jason to thrive and become self-reliant.